First, Become Ashes by K.M. Szpara

First, Become Ashes by K.M. Szpara

 About the Book

This is a contemporary fantasy Published on April 6, 2021 by Tordotcom. This is the authors second book, following Docile, which I have not read and don't plan on reading. The reason will become clear once you read my review. It is a standalone that follows multiple POV's and deals with trauma, abuse, brainwashing, and self-discovery. 

My Thoughts

I DNF'd this at almost exactly 50%. I do not know where to start with this.

I guess I'll start by saying this was NOT a fantasy book and I have no idea why it was advertised as one and it absolutely baffles me that it was published by Tordotcom. That's the imprint that publishes some of my favorite SFF series, so this threw me off by how all of the fantasy elements in this were not actually fantasy. This book was a contemporary book disguised as speculative fiction.

Now for the cult aspect of this book. The Fellowship uses abuse to make it's members believe that they possess magic to fight monsters. In on it's own is not a bad thing as cults do abuse and brainwash the people that they trick into joining, so it could be accurate. It was the cult itself that made zero sense. How was Nova, the leader, able to purchase public land and run a cult where it was in the middle of the city? The FBI knew about it, the public knew about it, everyone knew where it was. They also seemed to know that the members believed themselves to be magic. It just made no sense for the Fellowship to be not secretive at all about where it was located and their beliefs. The actual cult was such a minor aspect of this book, that I almost feel it was an excuse to write something "edgy".

I don't look at reviews prior to reading, but I definitely wish I would have here. What I did know going in, thanks to the content warning at the beginning (that's a discussion for another day), was that this book included multiple forms of abuse. Again, to be expected as it involves a cult. While the cult itself was not a huge part of this book, many flashbacks included gratuitious scenes that felt unnecessary. I don't need to be convinced that a cult is evil. Even if I did, this book would have done a terrible job at it. The abuse scenes were not written a way that portrayed them as evil. Instead it was a way to convince the reader that the magic was real, and almost in a (I hate to say it) positive light. Again, I did only make it halfway through this book, so it may very well do a good job of showing evil acts as evil, but all I saw was these acts being done and suddenly magic happened, although it was very clear that it wasn't real magic.

I also disliked how contemporary elements were mixed into this book. We have a comic con event and a cosplayer that turns out to be Lark's partner moving forward. His name is Calvin and if he was written in a way that made him feel so naïve and unintelligent. I hate when characters make life changing decisions for a stranger they literally just met. Yeah, why don't we throw away our goals to run from the FBI and hide a wanted man. Don't even get me started on the cops. They have got to be the most incompetent cops ever written. I don't know if the author just hates authority figures (or people in uniforms as they're put in the book), but Agent Miller is so frustrating to read about.

I could not see myself reading the rest and enjoying it, so I put it down. I don't want to read a book that I'll just give a 1 star to.